Morning from HELL!!!

I just need to vent, because if I don't, I might explode....It all started yesterday.

I did a lot of lifting and cleaning for the shower, and over did it and wound up pulling an ab muscle over the baby. I sneezed and felt a excruciating burning sensation all through out my left abdomen area, and again later when I coughed or bent down or laughed, etc....I called the doc, they said it sounds like I over stretched it, to avoid lifting anything unnecessary, to take it easy and relax, and if it gets worse to call back. Fine, I can deal with some soreness. Jump ahead to later that evening...Brian and I have birthing class since we switched it from Thursday since we are heading down to visit g-ma and papa Thursday night. The class we joined for the night was way behind our class, so it was complete review and Brian and I were bored and a little peeved. We didn't wind up getting to bed until like 11:30, which is super late for us, since Brian works at 6 and I work at 7:30. Now, jump ahead to 4:45 when Brian's alarm goes off and he gets out of bed...

I move into the position where I sleep the best, against the headboard lengthwise, and all the sudden, the puppy decides he has slept enough and jumps off the bed and starts scratching the door for Brian to take him upstairs with him (usually, I have to lift the puppy out of bed and drag his butt upstairs...he likes his sleep...but no, not today). I tell Brian to watch him since I am still so sleepy. Brian pens him up in his crate in the kitchen, goes to his car to leave for work, and the real problems begin. His car won't start. The lights come on, the clock time is still right, just no turn over from the engine. Of course, it is parked behind mine in the driveway, so now we are both stuck. Brian decides he thinks he can push it out of the driveway and into the street, if I maneuver the wheel. Well, we get it out of the driveway easily since it is on a decline, but the incline of the street proves to be too much and now, the car is literally stuck, perpendicular to the road....see drawing below.

All of the sudden, our street is hella busy for 5:45 in the morning and cars are having to drive around our stuck car. So here we are, unable to get the car back in the driveway since the hill into the driveway is too great, and we can't back it up into the street because that hill is too steep. We call his parents who live 4 minutes away, and wake them up, they head over and all three of them are pushing while I am behind the wheel, since I can't push b/c I already messed up my belly. We get it over to a parking area and try to jump start it, but the battery is hidden below other parts of the engine and the jumpstart box we are supposed to use has a lid on it that we can't get off...finally, after 5 minutes of pushing and prodding, Mike gets it off. It finally works, Brian's car is running and they all take off, leaving me home alone. I head inside, by this time, my alarm is going off, so here I am, extra tired from going to bed an hour and a half late, and getting woken up an hour and 15 minutes early...so now I am going to have to go to work on 2 hours and 45 minutes less sleep than normal (I know, I know, it is still more sleep than I will have once the baby arrives, but I was not ready for this today)...grrr....

The puppy is pawing to get out of his crate, I let him out and all of the sudden he is wound like a top. I let him outside into our fenced in backyard, and go down to shower. The shower drain is clogged. I can't figure out why it worked Sunday morning, but not today, and then I realize that Brian, after so nicely steamcleaning the carpets for me, poured the dirty water down the tub drain, which is filled with hair and lint and string that was embedded into the carpets, so now there is 4 inches of standing water in the tub, before I even switch the lever from bath mode to shower mode. I go find our plastic drain unclogger thing, and finally pull some gross crap out of the drain, and go to stand up from leaning over, and that burning pain comes back to my belly and it hurts so bad I want to cry. I put the declogger stick thing back and turn on the shower and get that over with. I get out, dry off, and go to get the dog from the backyard because if he is left alone for too long, he finds all sorts of trouble to get into or barks at things he thinks he sees. Of course, today, he thinks it will be great fun to not listen when I call him from inside our house, so I, in my towel, step out onto the deck and try to persuade him up.

Here comes the fun part, ready? Our flippin idiot cat, that I absolutely hate and want to get rid of (she decided my red chair would be a great new litter box last week), decides she wants an adventure and runs out through the sliding door, through my legs and into the yard. Now I am pissed. I run down the stairs, in my towel, and try to chase her back up. The dog thinks this is great fun and tries to jump up and grab my towel as I am trying to hold it up and grab the cat, all while yelling her name and swearing...good thing it is only like 6:15, so no one else is around or awake. Eventually the dog catches on to what I am doing and starts to chase the cat (a new fun game!) and after 30 minutes of this stupid literal cat game, he gets the cat back up the stairs, into the house. I am so angry I want to kill the cat on the spot.

So now, I have 15 minutes to get dressed, get the puppy fed, and get out the door or I will be late for work. On my way down the stairs to the bedroom, I see a huge spider on the wall. I HATE SPIDERS!!!! I grab a flip flop, bend over since it is sitting where the carpet meets the wall, real low, and smoosh the shit out of it. I feel somewhat vindicated from the stress of the morning and after stepping back to stand up, my tummy starts to hurt again, and I lose my footing and come this close to falling down the stairs, which my body reacts to by tightening up and my belly muscles clinch, making my pulled muscle strain even more, which hurts so bad I want to scream.

I have not been emotional this whole pregnancy, have never cried once or teared up or anything. At this point, I am very close to reaching that level where if I start crying, I am afraid I won't be able to stop. I swallow my soon to be tears and grab the puppy, who is sitting at the top of the stairs with his head cocked, looking at me like I have 3 heads, and bring him down to the bedroom so I can finally get dressed. He decides to be nice and just lays down on the bed, so I can get dressed. I put on my favorite and most comfy stretchy yoga pants, to see there is a whole in the crotch. AWESOME!!!! I grab my second favorite pair and put those on. I look through all my drawers to find a maternity shirt, find one, put it on, it no longer covers my ginormous belly. I chose another one, same thing. Pretty much, overnight, my belly has exceeded the size limit for all my maternity shirts and I look like white trash with my preggo gut exposed. I say f@#$ it, and grab a dress from my closet and keep my pants on because I am afraid that bending over will hurt my belly again. Isabella, at this time, has woken up and is deciding the place that is the most sore is a great place to stretch into, and is now petruding out where the muscles are stretched. I am miserable. I look like a tool, with a dress on and yoga pants, my hair is still wet, bangs are not blow dryed, but I have no time to do anything, because I have to get moving.

I feed the puppy, pen him up, grab a water bottle and head out the door. As soon as I get in my car, I see I am riding on Empty. I have enough to get to work, so don't pay attention to that anymore. I am 5 minutes away from home, and I realize, I haven't brushed my teeth, put on deoderant or face lotion or cocoa butter, which is the only thing that relieves my itchy belly skin. I still have mascara under my eyes from yesterday that the shower water helped come off and I look like a racoon. My bangs are drying frizzy, I am completely tired and worn out and to top it off, thanks to the F@#$(&* cat that I hate more than life itself, I am already going to be late for work, so I can't turn around and finish being hygenic.

I feel gross, already became an exhibitionist to the neighbors when my towel would fall off, my belly hurts and itches, Isabella is pushing on my sore muscles, I didn't grab breakfast, I am exhausted and I am late for work. I get there and see that I am working with the most crotchedy, crumudgeon employee ever to be hired at the Dept. of Corrections, which means I won't be able to listen to the radio since it "bothers" him, and I have to sit in silence (with the exception of his keyboard clicking...he types with one finger and bangs the keys like they won't work unless maximum force is applied) and just keep thinking about and reliving this awful morning. All this culminates to me wondering, IS IT AUGUST yet?